Parent-Advocacy.org http://www.parent-advocacy.org Helping Parents Find Truth on the Internet Fri, 06 Dec 2013 06:25:04 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.8 Troubled Teens and Holidayshttp://www.parent-advocacy.org/troubled-teens-holidays/ http://www.parent-advocacy.org/troubled-teens-holidays/#comments Fri, 06 Dec 2013 05:32:20 +0000 http://www.parent-advocacy.org/?p=286 For parents who've had troubled teens living at home, the holidays are usually filled with mixed emotions.  As the holidays approach, parents hope the seasons and celebrations will bring out the best in their troubled teen like in the days past when as children they wanted to be their best selves for Santa, but often […]

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For parents who've had troubled teens living at home, the holidays are usually filled with mixed emotions.  As the holidays approach, parents hope the seasons and celebrations will bring out the best in their troubled teen like in the days past when as children they wanted to be their best selves for Santa, but often they holidays only amplify the problems the family faces.  On “normal” days or in “normal” months, most families are already stretched to the limit with things to be done, problems to be solved, and needs to be met.  Holidays add another layer of expectations, commitments, chaos, and business.  Financial stresses are magnified and at times it feels like every family member is at their breaking point.

Even with all of this going on, we can choose to change our expectations, make our own choices of what is important and necessary, and look at it all from the perspective of “it is what we make of it.”

Keeping things simple, realistic, and positive, especially when balancing the needs of little children, troubled teens and other family members is important.

Dr. Mayer talks about troubled teens and the holidays, offering a unique approach to making things work for everyone.

 

Originally from : http://webtalkradio.net/internet-talk-radio/2013/11/25/troubled-teens-the-fix-the-hollerdays-are-here-again/

In this lively, sharing and yet highly instructive broadcast Dr. Mayer calls for us to change our approach to the Holidays. They don’t have to be the HollerDays like they have deteriorated to become in most families. We seem to brace ourselves for the worst in families as we approach the holidays and the media loves to jump in on sensationalizing the holidays as full of stress and tension and all the bad about families. Let’s be positive about the holidays again. We can do this if we follow the overriding principle of Dr. Mayer’s: If it is not Fun you’re Done! Don’t force you and your family into negative situations and events.

The holidays only make it tougher when seeking treatment for troubled teens.

When I realized that I needed to find help outside my home for my son, I dreaded the upcoming holidays on one hand, but had hope that somehow he would change on the other.

As Thanksgiving drew closer and I was still researching residential treatment centers in Utah, making calls, and scheduling visits, I dreaded the idea that maybe my research would be complete and my decision made before the holidays were here.  I knew he need help that I couldn't provide, but also hoped the magic of the season would be enough to make it all go away.  I hated the idea of having him live away from home during the holidays.  I worried that he would hate me for not waiting.  It was a tough decision, but I knew that treatment needed to be the priority over my feelings, and I also knew from past experience that he didn't want to be at home or with family anyway.  His new “friends” were all that mattered and the dangerous “fun” they were having.

These concerns were added to the list of questions and concerns I would address with the residential programs I would be soon visiting.  As I visited the programs I was able to ask about what they did for the holidays, what Thanksgiving would be like, a typical Christmas day, and birthday.

Every program is different in the way they approach the holidays with their students, so it's important to ask about these special days and ask the students themselves when visiting what they thought and how they felt spending the holidays in residential programs.  The students I talked to in each program said that of course they would rather have been home, but their experience away from home only made them more appreciative of the importance of family and loved ones.

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Parents Fight For The Right to Choose Care for Their Teenhttp://www.parent-advocacy.org/parents-fight-right-choose-care-teen/ http://www.parent-advocacy.org/parents-fight-right-choose-care-teen/#comments Thu, 21 Nov 2013 18:59:53 +0000 http://www.parent-advocacy.org/?p=279 I don't know of any parent that doesn't want the best for his or her child.  Unfortunately our society has degraded to the point that radical elitists and activists want a say in what you do with your children's care.  Of course there are situations where authorities should take action in cases of abuse, endangerment, etc.  But […]

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I don't know of any parent that doesn't want the best for his or her child.  Unfortunately our society has degraded to the point that radical elitists and activists want a say in what you do with your children's care.  Of course there are situations where authorities should take action in cases of abuse, endangerment, etc.  But when parents try and get help for their troubled teenagers it seems that the loudest criers are those with the least amount of credibility or credentials – and are often completely anonymous as to their identities.  But somehow they are treated as if they are authorities in the subject matter beyond the known, licensed, and accomplished professionals in medicine, psychology and therapy.  In fact, they (the activists) ridicule these professionals when the diagnosis of the troubled teen conflicts with the political views of the activists.

Activists love to ridicule the professionals employed in health care for troubled teens, attacking the credibility of a psychologists, medical doctors or therapists as quacks only working for money, while at the same time attacking schools, programs, and residential treatment centers for troubled teens by picking apart their employee list saying “this person has no license” – referring to the non-professional staff such in departments such as admissions, groundskeeping, athletics, etc.  demanding that everyone be licensed while ignoring the fact that everyone that needs a license has one.  This includes doctors, therapists, psychologists, school teachers, nurses, substance abuse counselors, nutritionists, etc.

This kind of “I know better for your child than you do” attitude doesn't just stop at anonymous activist and do-gooders, its creeping into the mainstream system of healthcare in general.  Recently stories in the news have surfaced where parents have actually lost custody of their children because medical professionals determined their diagnosis of the child to be superior to the diagnosis of other medical professionals.  In one case parents lost custody of their child simply by wanting to take the child to another doctor for a second opinion.

Even more recently in Connecticut, parents of a 15 year old teenager lost custody after taking her to a hospital to be treated for the flu.  When the doctors found out she had a preexisting condition, they made an additional diagnosis and determined that the families medical specialist for the condition was wrong and contacted DCF to intervene with the parents and take custody because the “Parents were too active in pursuing medical care” for their daughter.

Here's the story…

After a long history of medical problems, a West Hartford teenager is now “trapped” inside a hospital with seemingly no way out. Fox CT spent the past few.  “It is kidnapping,” says Lou Pelletier. Boston Children's Hospital 

via Hospital Holds West Hartford Girl For 9 Months After Parents Argue 

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Teen Suicide and Self-Harm: Glorified in Troubled Teen Chat Roomshttp://www.parent-advocacy.org/dark-side-chat-rooms-troubled-teens-talk-suicide-self-harm/ http://www.parent-advocacy.org/dark-side-chat-rooms-troubled-teens-talk-suicide-self-harm/#comments Thu, 21 Nov 2013 00:36:51 +0000 http://www.parent-advocacy.org/?p=267 While I was researching a program for troubled teens, I came upon various internet chat rooms, Facebook groups, and twitter threads that were supposedly places for troubled teens to go to for help with their problems.  I was shocked at what the organizer and contributors considered “help.” Each group or chat room was filled with […]

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While I was researching a program for troubled teens, I came upon various internet chat rooms, Facebook groups, and twitter threads that were supposedly places for troubled teens to go to for help with their problems.  I was shocked at what the organizer and contributors considered “help.”

Each group or chat room was filled with filthy, vulgar, and outright obscene commentary about their lives, their peers, their families and the world.  The common thread through it all was that “everyone else is stupid, and I alone have it all figured out.”  This mindset was especially directed towards parents, who apparently are at the root of every teenagers woes.

Sadly, each time a new “troubled teen” would join the group each participant would welcome her (or him) assuring her that she's in the right place for help among all of her “friends” who “love and support” her, then evolving into week after week tirades of the group members about her parents stupidity of sending her to a therapist to help her with the aftermath of her teen suicide attempt.  ”WE know how to help you”, they say “because we've been there.  Again degrading into even more vulgarity filled rants about the “unqualified” therapist and how it is all a sham and fraud.

Each night as the new troubled teens checked in, and steeped some more in group hate and misery, they all ended their chat in their own sign off.. “we love you..” “we're all in this together” “I'm glad I have real friends here” and so on.  The ironic thing is that other than Facebook, all of the participants are anonymous.  They could all be 40 year old men trying to groom teenagers they think are real.  fWith everyone being anonymous, how is it possible that (if most of the participants are real teenagers) that they could actually feel “loved” by the group enough to be persuaded to ignore the help of family, parents, and professional caregivers?

The darker side of the troubled teen chat rooms are when they glorify all of the misery they are going through, encouraging and instructing each other on self-harm and even teen suicide.

Unfortunately many teen feel a connection with the imagination of what their “friends” are like and what their motives are rather than the real relationships of their close friends and family members.

 

Dark Side of ‘Chat Rooms’ for Troubled Teens: Talk of Self-Harm

http://www.drugs.com Thu, 31 Oct 2013 18:10:15 GMT

THURSDAY Oct. 31, 2013 — While social media can help vulnerable teenagers seeking support, Internet use can do more harm than good for young people at risk of self-harm or teen suicide, a new study suggests.

Researchers from Oxford University in England found conflicting evidence on whether online activity poses a positive or negative influence for vulnerable teens, but observed a strong link between the use of Internet forums or “chat rooms” and an increased risk of suicide.

Read more …

 

Hopefully parents of teenagers with or without serious problems will monitor their internet usage, especially in chat rooms or groups where harmful behavior and teen suicide is glorified.

 

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New Donation Options Are Finally Here!http://www.parent-advocacy.org/new-donation-options-finally/ http://www.parent-advocacy.org/new-donation-options-finally/#comments Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:22:47 +0000 http://www.parent-advocacy.org/?p=175 While we were organizing and building Parent-Advocacy.org, donations have been made by those involved in founding the organization – in time, expertise, resources, you name it! It's so exiting to be involved in something that so many believe in so much. As the word of what we're doing has spread through the families and friends […]

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While we were organizing and building Parent-Advocacy.org, donations have been made by those involved in founding the organization – in time, expertise, resources, you name it! It's so exiting to be involved in something that so many believe in so much.

As the word of what we're doing has spread through the families and friends of the organizers, and through their social media contacts, we were asked if there was a way to donate by PayPal or other electronic means. Many live away from our organizations offices, so it is difficult to offer time or other physical resources.

With the help of Brady Hunt, a techie guru (I think he's good with that description) from the architect firm next door, we've been able to install the code for a PayPal Donate button into our website. Thank you Brady!

We've also got friends at our law firm looking into the feasibility of going non-profit! Hopefully that will happen in the near future.

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The Most Excruciatingly Painful Thing I Have Ever Experiencedhttp://www.parent-advocacy.org/excruciatingly-painful-thing-ever-experienced/ http://www.parent-advocacy.org/excruciatingly-painful-thing-ever-experienced/#comments Tue, 12 Nov 2013 01:20:12 +0000 http://www.parent-advocacy.org/?p=135 As a single mother I thought there was no way things could get worse for my family than the divorce. For year it had been up to me to raise my children alone.  Then when I was faced with the realization that I was losing my son to an emotional darkness I couldn't understand, I […]

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As a single mother I thought there was no way things could get worse for my family than the divorce. For year it had been up to me to raise my children alone.  Then when I was faced with the realization that I was losing my son to an emotional darkness I couldn't understand, I needed help that was beyond my ability to provide for him at home.

Traditional therapy offered little relief since it was just an hour each week if I could get him there, then between appointments he was still alone, isolating himself from the world.  He was diagnosed with depression and was self-medicating with anything he could find.  I found a residential treatment center for teens specializing in emotional issues and substance abuse and was so relieved.

I made a trip to visit the facility and was so impressed with everything I saw and heard and enrolled my son the next month.  At first my family members were happy that he was getting help, but then they became my biggest adversary when they found negative content on the internet about the residential treatment center my son was at.

They didn't want to hear anything from me about how I researched every option, called every official, checked every license, even visited the facility unannounced and had them answer and explain to my satisfaction EVERY SINGLE NEGATIVE comment I too had found on the Internet.  I was so hurt that they, my parents and brothers and sisters would just think I would send my son anywhere without a thought.  It was my son.

I had chosen what I thought was best after weeks of research, phone calls, and in-person visits – and they having done NOTHING but read a few negative comments were judging me as an unfit parent.

To make a long story short, the treatment went well and he got the help he needed from 24hour attention and therapy.  I have my son back, but the damage done between my family and I is still healing.  How I wish there had been someone like you people to help expose the truth of those people on the internet who wanted to prevent me from getting help for my son.

You're absolutely right that those websites expose themselves as frauds rather than concerned activists when they all claim that “there are no good treatment options”, schools, residential treatment centers, programs, therapists, or organization for helping teens in trouble.  They say, teens are just teens and teens do drugs, mutilate their bodies and their minds – that's just what they do.  I call bullsh*t.

I think those so called activists are really sitting in their own parent's basement, smoking weed, playing x-box, living a parasitic life of a drugged out teen – or worse, a drugged out 20 something, who to make themselves feel better about their useless lives take on a “cause” to help others preserve the pathetic lifestyle they enjoy funded by their parents or the government.  Yeah, maybe I'm being harsh, but they pulled no punches turning my family against me and treatment I knew would help – why should I against them?  I'll bet I'm light years closer to the truth about them than they are about me.

Thanks for your efforts to help people like me.  It was the loneliest and most excruciatingly painful thing I have ever done, and I did it alone.

Keep getting the truth out there, someone is counting on you.

- Sandra Thomas, Santa Barbara, CA

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We Almost Gave Up Getting Help for Our Son… Out of Fearhttp://www.parent-advocacy.org/made-decision-seek-residential-treatment-son/ http://www.parent-advocacy.org/made-decision-seek-residential-treatment-son/#comments Mon, 11 Nov 2013 00:44:37 +0000 http://www.parent-advocacy.org/?p=46 Finding a Residential Treatment Center for our Son Was the Hardest Thing We’ve Ever Done We made our decision to seek rehab and residential treatment for our son.  It was the hardest thing we've ever done. Even with the advice and support of our Family Therapist, Psychologist and Educational Consultant it was so hard to […]

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Finding a Residential Treatment Center for our Son Was the Hardest Thing We’ve Ever Done

We made our decision to seek rehab and residential treatment for our son.  It was the hardest thing we've ever done. Even with the advice and support of our Family Therapist, Psychologist and Educational Consultant it was so hard to find somewhere we felt comfortable. Then when we found the perfect place, a family member started pointing out all of the negativity about the school she found online.  We had already done all of our due diligence to ensure it was a good, safe place, but we began to wonder if we were all wrong.

Gratefully we found your site and regained our hope when we understood the attacks of the program were really directed at us.  We began to see through the facade of their claims and even though we started the due diligence, research, and visits again (just to be sure) we stood with our choice of school with renewed faith that we and our trusted professional advisers were making the best decision for our son.

Happily, its 9 months later and he's home from the program, doing well, and enrolled in our local Community College studying Criminal Forensics!  The path he was on before sending him to get help was so self destructive he even said in his graduation speech that he felt like if we (his parents) hadn't taken him out of the environment he was in, he would most likely not be alive.  Two of his four best friends (before seeking treatment) died from drug related accidents while he was away.

I have no doubt that what he said was true; with 1/2 of his friends dead from drugs it is surely likely that he would have been with them.  Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for being a measure of sanity on this subject. My heart sinks when I think that we nearly ended our search for treatment – out of fear.

Anna K. – Houston, TX

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